drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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