barbara walters just said penis...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
