Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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