All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
