Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
