I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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