ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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