Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
