Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
