He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
