and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
