So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
