I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
