just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
