they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
