I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
