Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Your cock deserves a montage
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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