I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think your dad took our porno
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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