I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
