She's JV to your varsity
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
