If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
