More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize