I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
