perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
