Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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