Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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