I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
