I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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