and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
