It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
