your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
