you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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