so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Mom said you looked used
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
