i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
