if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
