He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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