Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
