Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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