No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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