What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Girls should come with a carfax report
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
