Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
