I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
