tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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