I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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