Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
