Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
