he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
