You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Terrible idea I love it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
