If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I touched a dick in church today
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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