We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
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Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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