I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
