I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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