Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
