I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
