mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
