I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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