dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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