I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
