You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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