I cockslap morals
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
