jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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