talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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