Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
